Advertiing to children

My six year old daughter, Matilda, runs the house, which I believe has something to do with her ability to make people accede to her bizarre, irrational demands.

I try to spend as much time with her as possible; i’d like to find out her technique. But it’s hard weekdays as I tend to leave for work before she wakes up and when I’m back she’s in bed again, clearly exhausted from all the bizarre, irrational demands she has been making throughout the day.

But this weekend we got some time on the sofa. We’re both early birds and we both like some quiet time in front of the telly, and in a family of five mornings is the best time, and the earlier the better, believe me.

So I get downstairs first and put the news on, and when she wakes up she comes down and then we watch what she calls “something we both want to watch”, which means something that she wants to watch.

And we have about two hours before anyone else emerges from the nest.

So I’m pretty clued up on iCarly and the hundreds of other shows that are beamed directly from some Hollywood studio to my kitchen sofa and I try to get my daughter’s attention with some sparkling conversation and this is not an easy task for me, as my conversation is not that sparkling even if it wasn’t competing with Hollywood Hills, and it usually goes something like this;

Me: Have you noticed how the brake lights of cars look like eyes staring back at you?

Tilda: Who’s eyes?

Me:  People’s eyes. Anyone’s eyes.

Tilda: I think you are confusing your eyes with everyone else’s eyes daddy.

Or these

Me: Look out at those bright stars! Oh wait, they are airplane lights. They’re very bright, aren’t they?

Tilda: (looking at television): They’re brighter than you.

But during the ad breaks conversation becomes easier. Not because Tilda finds advertising boring. Quite the contrary. And the one subject Tilda is happy to talk about during the ad breaks is how much she is missing what the various advertisers are selling and what my plans are to rectify this vacuum.

I do buy my daughter a lot of random presents, mainly second hands from charity shops. If you close your eyes hard enough Princess Alice Hospice can look like Hamleys. And like most children, Tilda doesn’t really know what she wants. So she wants everything.

Now I know that what she really wants is cheap stuff and stuff that she can get bored with 9 times out of ten but because it only cost 50p an item I don’t really care.

And one time out of ten she finds something she loves and makes it worthwhile.

Advertising is a powerful tool in front of children. Some of the ads i remember the most were for toys when i was about the same age – weebles that wobbled didn’t fall down, indestructible Tonka Toys, that sort of thing.

But it’s a powerful tool in front of anyone. We’ve just bought out a range of flat screen LCD TV greetings cards so advertisers can now beam their wares directly to those they think are more likely to buy them. And that could be kids, I guess.

There’s no escape.

But does advertising to kids really work, or is it just advertising to amenable parents? Children move on very quickly from disappointment to disappointment and their tears are easily drowned out by the cries of parents; “Course my precious can have the new sparkly dress with the flashing lights! Nothing’s too expensive for my Princess!”

Of course my daughter wants everything that’s offered her, especially if it’s done in a memorable and entertaining way on the screen. But when her cousin who is about the same age comes over she’ll trade whatever she’s got for whatever he’s holding.