An excerpt from Russell’s facebook (where some words may have been edited to remove bad language or drunkenly misspelt words)
Saturday 5^th November 12.47 -  Heathrow
Is sipping champagne thanks to those wonderful people at Emirates Airlines. Flying to Hong Kong with a brief stopover for Sunday lunch on the Palm. Chocs away.
Sunday 6^th November 17.26 - Dubai International Airport
Lady at check in: "did you pack your bags yourself?"
Me: "good heavens no. My wife packed them."
Lady at check in: "Why is that, sir?"
Me: "because if I packed my own bags they would contain an elephant's foot warmer, an automatic card shuffler, a tennis racket and no clothes. It's a constant source of surprise and delight to me when I open my bags that I actually have useful items inside them".
Lady at check in: "you need to say "yes" to this question, sir".
Me: "yes"

Sunday 6^th November 18.03 - Dubai International Airport
Bit of a drama whilst on walkabout to see if I can find anyone to upgrade me. Return and pass chap in green combos with large gun standing over my luggage. Smile at him. Wander. Pass him again a few minutes later. Nod happily.
“Is this your luggage sir?”
Me: “yes”.
“You must not leave your luggage unattended, Sir”
Me: “It’s not unattended. You’re standing over it with a large gun. I doubt anyone is going to try to steal it”
This is not the correct response. “I was kidding” doesn‘t help enormously, either.

Sunday 6^th November 18.24 - Dubai International Airport
I have been ushered to the relative sanctuary of the Emirates Lounge and introduced to a rather nice looking bottle of Chateau St Georges 2002.
A breezy girl in a fetching uniform says. "We'll do what we can to upgrade you. You don't have to go anywhere. You can stay here" which could possibly be translated as "you are not funny. Now for goodness sake leave us all alone".
"No problem at all" I say cheerfully. "I'll check in on you in an hour or so". China here we come. Chin Chin

Sunday 6^th November 18.55 - Dubai International Airport.
Just stood up to get a further bottle of this French number and immediately intercepted by a waiter who has possibly been briefed about my predilection for popping along to see how they are all getting on with the busy task of upgrading me.
"I will bring you whatever you need, sir", he says.
"I'll start with another one of those please. But don't go far away", I say.
"I won't" he assures me, in a tone that underlines these words.
Sunday 6^th November 19.09 - Dubai International Airport.
I seem to have mislaid my passport.

Sunday 6^th November 19.33 - Dubai International Airport
Clandestine Search of luggage and person reveals passport is AWOL. Unsure whether to alert waiter / Guard at this early stage as may compromise existing supply of Nuits St George.

Sunday 6^th November 19.57 - Dubai International Airport
Waiter has brought passport. We didn't discuss where it was. We just nodded.
Sunday 6^th November 20.27 - Dubai International Airport
I will hear news of my upgrade request at 2.30am Dubai time.

At 2.30am I was rather tipsy, but I can report that I was, indeed, upgraded.

Monday 7^th November 05.12 - Bangkok
Just landed at Bangkok. I thought I was going to Hong Kong